Starbucks on Victoria Street for some reason has become an unofficial meeting place for General Election strategy chat. Nothing freaks out those Tory twats though more than me pressing my face to the window and directing the universal sign for onanism at them. So far spotted Oliver Letwin, Tim Collins and even Jonathan Marland, their chief fundraiser, wasting money on skinny-decaf-frappe-latte-bollocks-to-go. He'd be better off using the fucking cash to plug the £15 billion hole in their spending plans.
What's wrong with a good old fashioned cup of Yorkshire tea? I must drink at least 10 cups a day and so it's done me no fucking harm. Thank god Tony understands the photo opportunity benefits of a nice cup of tea in a station café in Northampton.

Note to CK. If you took a leaf out of my book and stayed off the booze maybe you wouldn’t stutter so much when answering simple questions regarding your tax policies.
And note to BBC. Stop mentioning Dr fucking Who in your election reports. It’s getting tedious you twats.