Have just had a bloody big row with the writer of Tony's campaign diary. Some joker has had a lame pop at me which is not fucking funny. David Hill refuses to have it taken down as he says it is important that we show Tony to be in touch with the people. A campaign strategy nicked straight from me please note.

I could tell the minute I arrived at our hotel in Birmingham yesterday that I was not exactly the star attraction. The autograph hunters were there for Kylie who is currently on tour in Britain. It meant I was struggling to get the best out of my team who kept wandering off to join the groupies hanging around for a glimpse of Kylie. My press team were all singing “I'm spinning around.” Only they weren't.

Tony doesn't even like Kylie - much prefers Christina Aguilera.