So that twat Piers Morgan has serialised his “secret” diaries in The Mail. (Apparently part of this blogging malarkey means linking to any site you reference but due to that paper’s lack of support – it knows when – I am not giving it the courtesy.)

Describes me as a bully and a boaster. Bully? I’ve been called worse so fuck off. Boaster? Hardly.

So I didn’t actually invent the phrase “People’s Princess” (I believe that honour goes to self-titled chav Julie Burchill) but it was certainly me who launched it into popular culture. Not boasting: fact.

And no, at the time the Royals didn’t have a clue what to do. They still haven’t got it right have they? Look at this farce of a wedding. They need me now like they did then.

As to the clutching of straws reference to Noel Gallagher – Tony had more important things to think about than whether some Manc twat had a drug problem. It was my job to brief him FFS.

And running the show? John Humphreys knew …

One more thing Piers: Tony and Cherie are still in No 10 whereas you are now fronting some crap Channel 4 show with Amanda Platell. Point fucking taken I hope.